What To Expect
I get background information from people through paperwork and email correspondence to determine if we should start with one-on-one meetings or with the couple or more-some.
I ask clients to jump right into the "rub" or what made them feel the need to reach out for help. I ask them to fill in background on the current relationship(s) and family dynamics for context.
Once I have a basic idea and theory of the dynamics,
I work to understand and have clients recognize what is going on in their bodies, minds, and hearts during these situations that are causing distress.
Bringing in a Partner
If more than one person is in the session, I help the partner(s) understand how their actions and words contribute to the cycle by bringing awareness to what is going on in their own body, mind, and heart.
From there, we work as a team to find tools to break the automatic cycle.
I focus on the presenting issue that was the catalyst for reaching out for help. I will ask you to fill in background information about your family of origin, past relationships, and pertinent information about past issues in your current relationships because the past most certainly informs your current working goals.
I start each session with the following two questions:
What are we talking about today?
What do you hope to get out of the session?
I have found that this makes our work together more efficient by asking you to think ahead about how you want to use our time and it helps me know how to support and keep you on track.
I end sessions by asking you to reflect and share "take aways" from the session. This helps solidify the work we've done and bookend the session in order to move you to the next part of your day.
I give resources for you to explore between sessions. These are not required but clients report more success when they continue our work between sessions.
After a session, you will be sent notes that I take during the session and a recording so you can listen back to our discussion. Reviewing both of these on your own and with your partner greatly increases progress.
Many people ask me if they should start as a couple or separately.
I do not have a set prescription for this. If the issues seem to be more individual in nature (such as jealousy or issues brought up from childhood or another relationship), and the communication in the couple seems strong, then I would suggest individual work to start. If the issues seem to be focused on how a couple relates and communicate, I find it to be very helpful to see a couple together first “in action”. Sometimes once I see a couple together, I will suggest some time individually.
I work with clients to decide the best unique course of action.